Tag Archives: lace

Have You Been Catfished?

October 24, 2014

online-dating-e1405898035178-600x300With new dating apps like Tinder, it is becoming more and more common to meet first online. Whenever I have had conversations about online dating with my guy friends, they confess of a having a fear of being “catfished.”

According to the ever-so reliable source, Urban Dictionary, it states, “A Catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.”

Now, I’m not about to go into detail of how I’ve gotten “catfished.” No offense, but who spends months or years speaking to someone they’ve never seen or at least have sure proof this person exist? And God forbid, plan a life with a stranger. It’s beyond me!

I have a hard enough time getting to know a real guy who is sitting right in front of me, much less some weirdo in another state or better yet, a con-artist in an internet cafe in Africa.

But I’ll be honest. I think I’ve been catfished (just not via Facebook or some other site). I’m pretty sure I’ve been the victim of others creating a false identity. Thank God, I’ve never found out some man I was dating was married with five children.

I often find it extremely difficult to meet men and women alike who are transparent, honest people. Those who know me know that I am very honest and upfront. This is a blessing and a curse. I often ask people sincere questions. Sometimes I get an answer but often times, the answers are vague and elusive like a child inquiring why Zebras have stripes.

False identities can be created in many different ways. I’ve dated guys who claim to be religious because they know my spirituality means a great deal to me. I’ve met people who hide bad habits like smoking or drinking, to later find out it was an issue. I’ve also met others who claim to have the same values as I do in order to get a so called “good girl.” Thankfully, I’m pretty intuitive. But only because I’ve been fooled before.

When it comes to cultivating relationships, honesty is the only way success can be achieved. Sometimes honesty hurts. Sometimes it means an end to a relationship. Sometimes it means taking a risk, and it scaring you senseless.

Thankfully, I still have time and am not remotely worried about meeting my match. I know it will happen. But as I continue with the exhausting dating process, I find myself weary with facades, lack of transparency and the ability in others to be honest.

I see it all the time, especially with men who will not be honest with their feelings or intentions. If you’re a guy reading this, I’m sure you have experienced this with women.

I was thinking today, “Why is it that often times when I ask a straight forward question, I cannot get a straightforward response?” It dawned on me.

If a person cannot be honest with me, then he probably is not being honest with himself.

I wonder how many catfish are swimming around?

Article by Brittany Windle

Follow Britt on Twitter.

Favorite Four to Follow

September 5, 2014

Whether you are looking to stay up-to-date this weekend with New York Fashion Week or to simply be inspired, these four are the ones to follow.

Sophia Bush

@SophiaBush- You may remember her from the TV show One Tree Hill. Actress and activist, Sophia Bush, is one to follow. We’ll admit that we have a girl crush! We love her “do good” attitude, exciting travels, and just the every day postings of her life.

sophia bush

Chelsie Birks

@ChelsieBirks - For the best of New York Fashion Week, stay tuned into Chelsie’s account. When she’s not capturing moments like these, you can still be inspired by her outfits and travels.

Chelsie Birks

Kendi Skeen

@Kendieveryday - We have been a fan of Kendi’s for several years. Her quirky sense of humor and great style are the reasons we keep following!

kendi skeen

Kelli Murray

@kelli_murray- Graphic designer and illustrator, Kelli Murray, is definitely a favorite! We wish we could spend a day with her picture-perfect family! What will you see if you follow? Interior design ideas, outfit envy, and pictures that will inspire you to be more creative! (Isn’t her daughter adorable?!)

kelli murray

 

Article by Brittany Windle

Follow her on Twitter.

Friday Favorites

August 22, 2014

We do a lot of talking and reflecting at Modern Lace. Here are our favorite inspirations and finds. We’ll spare you all the talk today.

Etsy find by Lauren Taylor

piperlime_florals19

Fashion blogger, Julia Engel, of GalMeetsGlam.com

Fashion blogger, Julia Engel, of GalMeetsGlam.com

Be Brave Necklace by Jess Lively

Be Brave Necklace by Jess Lively

MadebyGirl

Made by GIrl Instagram account – her online store features beautiful art prints and accessories for the home (MadebyGirl.com)

MadebyGirl2

30 Observations at Age 30

July 20, 2014

It’s not often that we have a male contributor here at Modern Lace. Tim Sayles shares with us his 30 observations at 30.

Screen shot 2014-07-20 at 3.03.31 PMIt’s not often that we have a male contributor here at Modern Lace. Tim Sayles shares with us his 30 observations at 30.

1. Although we never believe it at the time, high school popularity really doesn’t matter. #butIdomissthatpowderbluepromtuxedo

2. College really is the most carefree, fun time of your life. #gunsup

3. Making and keeping friends after college is extremely more difficult than when in college. Regardless, make the effort. #thankGodforgoodfriends

4. The common cliché “life is short” starts to make a little bit more sense once you look up and you’re thirty years old. #1/3lifecrisis

5. Marrying the right person is very important. #caitlinsayles

6. Trying daily to be the right kind of spouse is also important. #sheispatient

7. Facebook is exceptionally more popular than anyone in my college dorm could’ve ever imagined. #facebookusedtoonlybeforforcollegekids

8. From an outsider’s perspective, raising children seems totally hard but totally worth it…most of the time. #just2dogsfornow

9. Like my parents promised, I actually became friends with my siblings.
#josh #abby #micah

10. There is much to be said for a traditional education but I am shocked at the amount of success some people have without it.
#youstartedwhatkindofbusinessinyourgarage

11. Loving what you do for a living is a true blessing. #thankGodigotintoPAschool

12. On the other hand, a job really is just a job. It only defines you if you let it. #muchmoretolifethanthose40hours

13. That previously pathetic 10:30 PM bedtime has become an absolute necessity. #nomoreallnighters

14. I sometimes look back at photos from my youth with the same head-shaking disbelief I did when looking at photos of my parents at the same age. #myhair #notbesthair

15. I appreciate how shockingly invaluable a good childhood and great parents have been to my path in life. #mesquiteTXintha90s

16. As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes my body feels like it’s thirty years old. #rest #ice #compression #elevation

17. My aspirations of being a decent golfer will always be just that.
#iblametheclubs

18. Saving for retirement is weird considering I feel like I just started working. #401what

19. The idea of a mortgage payment that will last the same amount of time that I’ve been alive is both confusing and terrifying. #almosthomeownerproblems

20. Cross country moves are unavoidably chaotic; Almost as chaotic as trying own a home in the Bay Area.
#isthatpricetagforreal
#escrow #morelikemesscrow

21. Trips to Costco with my wife are strangely exciting and always more expensive than anticipated. #thatllbe$400sir

22. The cell phone I’m writing this on is ten times more capable than the desktop computer I grew up with. #wemissyoufloppydisk
#oregontrail

23. I would take Golden Eye over Call of Duty any day. #N64

24. Taxes go up, policies change, and social issues evolve but, ultimately, we have it very good here in the USA. #fiftynifty

25. After living in California for a short time it is even more clear to me that “Texan” truly is it’s own demographic identifier. #comeandtakeit

26. As a follow up, it’s hard to deny that California has a leg up in the weather and scenic beauty department compared to my beloved Lone Star State. #lubbockTXisoneofakind

27. My hairline really is receding. #Itsnotjustparanoia

28. If you’ve never traveled outside the USA, you should. There are some amazing things to see and experience on this planet. #Guatemala #South Africa #Brazil

29. Regardless of your current perspective or predisposition, try reading the Bible. It’s a truly an enlightening piece of literature.
#theGoodBook

30. I hardly ever use hashtags. In fact, I don’t even understand their purpose. But I used them here to prove I’m still cool at age 30. #whostillsayscool

What are your own observations? Share with us by commenting below.

Article by Tim Sayles

Comparison is the Thief Joy

July 1, 2014

Screen shot 2014-07-01 at 12.43.11 PM

I must be the only one who struggles with social media. I have a love/hate relationship with it, especially Facebook. I find myself posting little but scrolling through the news feed a lot, mostly out of boredom. I seriously don’t know what I’m looking for, and I act as if ten minutes of time changes the outcome of the next time I check it.

I’m pretty transparent. So here goes… I compare. I compare my life to my “friends,” possibly to you if you’re my Facebook friend. And you know what? I have no clue what is going on in your life besides your highlight reel. Don’t lie. You only put the good on there. It’s okay. I’m the same way. Why would I tell you about the argument I had with a family member last week or the time I over drafted my bank account? And God forbid, I put a picture of myself on there unless I’m standing just right to make myself look the smallest and my skin the clearest. (Ugh, adult acne). Well, some of you write about the negative, and if you do, you’ve probably been deleted or at least removed off the feed.

But back to comparing. I’m guilty. I am the only one who knows my struggles except for some of you who are in my inner circle. The circle is small. So as I struggle with my own issues and I only see your amazing reel, I compare. And “comparison is the thief of joy,” according to Theodore Roosevelt. I agree.

I asked my younger sister if she found herself comparing, and she said she often thought, “Wow, he/she is on another vacation again. I wish I could travel more!” She actually just got back from the Bahamas.

I deleted my Facebook… again. If I were to reactivate it, you’d see only a smiling face. You’d see my recent fun and interesting activities- only the best, course!

You wouldn’t see that I dealt with anxiety and depression for several years. You wouldn’t see the ups and downs of dating after divorce. Quite honestly, I don’t think you’d want to hear it (at least not in a rant form on Facebook).

As we post only the best of the best of our lives, sometimes we get caught up in the appearance of it all. I’m not encouraging a boycott of Facebook, but as for now, I am taking a step back, a closer look at the mirror. And I’ve decided to cultivate the grass on my side of the fence, rather than wondering what it’s like on your side.

I’m imperfect. My hair is on top of my head. I need a shower, and my face… Well, I look like a 13 year old that just started puberty. At least, I can be honest with myself. And as for now, Facebook, I love you, but I hate you. I’m sure I’ll be back.

article by Brittany Windle

Follow Brit on Twitter.

The Girl Behind the Blog

April 7, 2014

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Let me start by saying I am nothing special. I’m just a southern girl. I’m a twenty something year old who found herself floundering and confused post-graduation and decided to do something about it. But that’s the difference between myself and your average twenty something; I was confused and floundering so I did something about it, I took a chance.

On January 31, 2012, I had an idea; actually, I had more of a need to freely express myself. After wrapping up my internship and beginning the hunt for a job in education, I found that I had no real safe space to say what was on my mind without the fear that it may negatively impact my chances of being hired. Not that I wanted to bad mouth future employers, but rather I wanted to talk about that kid that sneezed on me and the creepy coworker that hit on me. In that moment, with one quick decision, SoFlaGrlProbz was born.

It became my diary, my therapist, my soundboard, my sanctuary, and I loved it. Through my first year in education, I found that my passion for this profession was faltering. It wasn’t that I hated it, no that wasn’t the case at all; I had simply lost my passion. I took a step back and again reevaluated my life while of course giving my followers a play by play. As I grew, SoFlaGrlProbz grew, and after a year, I found myself with ten thousand followers wondering where I could take my “persona” next. In just one year, I had created a corresponding SFGP Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, and Wanelo all successful and prosperous in their own right but yet, something was missing. I wanted more. After much thought and a bit of secrecy, Monograms and Lesson Plans came to fruition. MLP is me or rather I am it, specifically it’s my baby in the sense that I built it. The culmination of late nights of blog building, perfecting the aesthetics, and all of my absolute favorite things. I have always vowed to make my blog as much me as possible and from cocktails and recipes to giveaways and outfits MLP is 100% me.

logo

Like my blog and my twitter account, I am still growing, evolving, changing, and finding my place in life. While I have since put my career in education on hold, I’ve found that my passion for fashion has reignited. While working for The Flaunt Shop and helping build the brand into a force to be reckoned with is a focus of mine, I haven’t forgotten who I am and where I started. I am so thankful for the connections I’ve made over the last two years and the people I’ve encountered. It seems strange to say but I do my best to let all 21.6 thousand of my twitter followers in on as much of my daily life as I can. They know about my love for my family, my dogs, my jobs, and my cocktails yet they don’t know one of the most basic things about me.

I was named for American royalty and that’s something I take great pride in; my name is Jacquie and I am SoFlaGrlProbz.

SoFla

Friday Favorites

April 4, 2014

favorite8“There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things.” This quote from The Office finale explains the awe-inspiring beauty in every day living. We have been inspired lately by some things we often take for granted – like a lovely outdoor space or the perfect weekend outfit. What simple things inspire you?

favorite9

favorite7 favorite6 favorite5 favorite4 favorite3 favorite2 favorite

Follow more of our favorites and inspirations on Pinterest.

Brittany Windle

Follow Britt on Twitter.

Mental Junk Food

March 12, 2014

keeping-up-with-the-kardashians_2Image via

I have a serious problem, a confession, if you will: I watch reality television, specifically the Real Housewives franchise and Keeping Up with the Kardashians. There is so much irony in this.

First, I advocate women empowerment. Heck, I have a blog dedicated to it. Second, I fervently encourage women to accept their bodies, flaws and all. (I’m preaching to the choir here). Third, I believe in cultivating an enriching life that will inspire others.

Reality tv does not promote any of the things true to my heart, yet I almost daily feed my mind with junk food. What’s the big deal? I mean, I only spend an hour or so a night watching it. I even criticize as I watch. (That should count for something, right?)

Let’s go back to my core values:

First, I advocate women empowerment. How does reality television empower women on any level? None of the women get along. They teach other women to be competitive, aggressive, and argumentative. They display bizarre animosity toward one another. Sisterhood is what we should strive for, having female friends to support, encourage and cultivate intellectual conversation.

Much of the behavior and values they project actually set women back. Instead of being recognized for achievements and goodwill, they are recognized for their material gains and outward appearance.

Second, I fervently encourage women to accept their bodies, flaws and all. Apparently, lion is the new look because every time I view the housewives, there is a woman flaunting a newly constructed face, remarkably similar to the face of a feline. Aging does not exist in “reality tv land.”  There appears to be little acceptance of their outward appearance, and extreme measures are taken to achieve whatever ideal they’ve conjured up in their heads.

Third, I believe in cultivating an enriching life that will inspire others. In the lives of these reality tv stars, little is to be seen when it comes to an enriching life. Passion, ideas and intellectual conversation are not paramount of these shows.

By watching these shows, I am advocating the very things I detest. I am supporting women who sell manufactured sex appeal and unnecessary discord with those they should support.

Although it’s a little late to be making a new year’s resolution, I think it’s time for me to reassess and give up my mental junk food. Yes, I’d rather zone out in the evenings, but should I be filling my mind with fruitless material?

Here I am. I confess to being a junkie to reality tv. What are your confessions? Do you think it’s important to self-evaluate often?

Brittany Windle

Follow Britt on Twitter.

Balance & Self-Discipline

March 5, 2014

balanceart via

Intention-based rituals.

According to The Power of Full Engagement, up to 95% of our lives are based on habits.

95%! This is pretty crazy. Almost too high to believe. This means that most of our strengths and not-so-great aspects of our lives are likely rooted in habits that we have cultivated - consciously or not - throughout our lives.

The urge to eat the ice cream out of the carton when no one is looking and our ability to jump out of bed in the morning are both likely tied to habits we have crafted over time.

Knowing that habits have such a HUGE influence in our lives means that we can choose to shape positive rituals that reflect our deepest values and intentions for each area of our life.

Continue your reading here.