Tag Archives: girls

Follow Your Voice of Wisdom

August 27, 2016

Alex Forrest

Little did I know I was living below “Alex Forest” from the infamous Fatal Attraction movie when I moved into my quaint, vintage apartment.

She, like most mean girls, appears first as the sweetest, kindest person who ever graced the planet. And she did so gracefully walk. She had perfect posture and seemed to always know proper etiquette, especially in conversation. Even when she held her cigarette it was like watching an old Hollywood starlet. Something about her was intriguing, a bit mysterious and often left me feeling uneasy. There was some sort of wall or façade I could not clearly decipher. All I knew was to keep her on my good side. I had a sneaking suspicion that if I ever crossed the line, there would be no return.

I rarely meet people like this, but when I do, I am reminded of that gnawing feeling of discomfort. She was intentionally intimidating. I’m even bold enough to say that she was a bully. She made me want to shrink and cower down. A little voice inside me told me to steer clear, but I often felt sorry for her, especially when I’d get a knock on my door. Standing there with a glass filled to the brim with white wine, she had tears in her eyes.

As a child and teen, I always listened to that little voice. You know the still, small voice that would tell you not to go out with that guy? Or that feeling that you’d get when you knew something didn’t seem right? That voice is what many call their conscience or their wisdom speaking.

Somewhere along the line, I stopped listening to that small voice of wisdom. It has become quieter every time I have allowed someone to cross a boundary or line with me.

I haven’t taken a personality test recently, but I think it’s safe to say that I am Type B. I am very laid back, and on top of this, I am the middle child of two sisters. We, middle children, tend to be peace makers. Over the years, I have struggled with saying “no” to invitations or obligations. I want others to be happy, and it’s difficult for me if I know they will be disappointed by my decline.

If you’re a people pleaser like myself then you can relate. Because of this desire to please others, I have allowed people to take advantage of me. I have often sacrificed my own well being for the sake of avoiding confrontation. Around an intimidating person, my voice has often been soft, almost non-existent. Out of fear of retaliation, I won’t speak up.

Some call me sweet and innocent. I still get the occasional description as being naive. And those with ill intentions will truly prey on this. As a result, a person like myself will get used. Dare I say the term abused? Cruel people exist and even the smartest of us can fall into a trap of deception.

I started meeting with a counselor recently for self growth and because I have been faced with a difficult decision. He said the most simple yet beautiful advice: Follow the voice of your own wisdom. He reminded me that when you get that weird gut feeling or when you feel uncomfortable by someone’s actions toward you that it is your wisdom speaking.

I still have that little voice, but unfortunately, by not following it, I have said no to myself. Saying yes to others has caused me to say no to my well being at times. I have put my emotional, mental, and sometimes physical health at risk.

“Boundaries are not for others but for yourself,” my counselor stated. “You set the boundaries. If they cross them, you walk away.” I have often thought I didn’t have that right. However, now that my mindset has been made whole, I am and will set boundaries. My well being is more important than simply making others happy.

For the whole story of my bully neighbor, read here. I was right about that feeling. I’ll listen to it better next time.

Article by Brittany Windle

Follow her on Twitter.

He For She

September 24, 2014

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“Fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating.”

“Feminism by definition is that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.”

These moving quotes are from Emma Watson’s speech at the HeForShe Special Event at United Nations Headquarters in New York on September 20th.

We encourage you to listen to Emma’s speech to gain a better understanding of what feminism is and the importance of gender equality.


Show the world your support of #genderequality as a#HeForShe. Post a picture and tag HeForShe. Join the movement at www.HeForShe.org.

heforshe

 

 

Brittany Windle

Follow Britt on Twitter.

Tinder Love

September 19, 2014

1370041886_nutella“Can I lick Nuttela off your body?” a blue bubble appeared. My initial thought: “I don’t even like Nutella.” This is how our love story began…

I’m kidding. But that really did happen upon my first and last trial of Tinder. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Tinder is a dating app. You login through Facebook and view the “available” men or women in your surrounding area. Swipe right if you find that person attractive or interesting. And swipe left if not. “Nope” appears across their face when you swipe left: classy!

Many times a bio is left empty, so it becomes a game of “do I find you attractive or not?” It’s not shallow at all.

So I tried it out, naturally… but not in my own city initially. When I visited a girl friend who lives a few states away, I logged in. I wanted to see what it was about.

Several swipes, a few chats and many clever pick-up lines later, I discovered a few truths about men and Tinder:

- They love to fish and show off their big catch.
- All men skydive or climb big rocks.
- Guys, too, take duck selfies- ya know, not with a duck but the ones with the strange pucker face
- It’s weird when you see a gym selfie
- It’s creepy when you see a guy lying in bed with his kitten
- 99% of them do Crossfit
- There are a lot of lonely military men

I logged in to my city when I arrived back from my trip. After a few swipes of “nope,” seeing a guy I once dated, and seeing a few I know who are married or in relationships, I decided that the app would be deleted immediately. I don’t have time to filter through cheesy pick-up lines or questions alluding to sex in order to discover someone who actually wants to get to know me.

I asked a guy friend of mine if he had ever tried it out. He said that he went on three dates. “One brought a backpack on the date in hopes of staying over at my place.” He told her it wasn’t going to happen.

While he says, he’s met several interesting people and has made new friends, I think I am going to stick to the traditional way of meeting people.

As far as Nutella being licked off my body, maybe he should have suggested a less messier option like whipped cream (kidding, of course).

What do you think about Tinder? Do you think it’s a good way to meet people? Is it just a hook-up app?

Article by Brittany Windle

Free August Wallpaper

August 7, 2014

JL_August_BGdownload full-size wallpaper here

I knew I watched Mr. Rogers for a reason when I was a kid. This little nugget of wisdom has resonated with me for weeks now. To make choices “from a deep sense of who you are” is essential to living your best life. Don’t forget who you are; don’t forget your passions and desires and seek self reflection consistently.

Thanks, Jess Lively, for a beautiful design.

Brittany Windle

Follow Brit on Twitter.

Welcome to Modern Lace

November 21, 2013

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On my mind constantly is how women are portrayed in the media and how it molds our thought processes and perceptions.

My heart breaks for our culture. It breaks for those women who think their worth is in their looks alone. It breaks when I recognize that pornography has become mainstream, Playboy is celebrated, and celebrities gain popularity through sex tapes.

It breaks when I read that the average age for viewing pornography is eleven years old. I am appalled when I read that the latest surgery craze is reconstructing the labia – to make it appear prettier. And you think we as a society are not affected by what is bombarding us?

Just the other day, I visited one of the leading women magazine’s websites, and flashing in the sidebar was “Sex Position of the Week.” This magazine is also known for providing the “latest” sex tips for every issue with a provocative (of course, digitally enhanced) celebrity displayed on the cover.  Their cover girls are getting younger with each year and so are the readers. In August 2012, the star of Pretty Little Liars (a popular teen television show) and the third installment of  Cinderella Story was seen on the cover.  Beside her beautiful face reads: “25 Sex Moves.”

Unfortunately, sex sells, and it is being sold to young females – your sister, daughter, or friend. Do they even know how it affects their self-image? Do you know how it affects yours?

The United States is the only industrialized nation who does not teach media literacy in schools. Yet, we are the number one global exporter of pop culture. Children need to know how to filter through messages in advertisements.

Why rant? Why care? The media will continue to produce what sells. It seems like a war that cannot be won.

You may ignorantly think: “Oh, she must be bitter. She’s never received attention from a man.” Or worse, “She must not be very pretty.”

No matter a female’s age or size, they are affected. I simply want to create awareness and begin a conversation. I want to explore questions like: How do we balance the desire to be beautiful? What is my standard of beauty? What is a healthy perception?

I want to celebrate women who are stylish but who also have a beautiful story to tell. I want to learn about the newest fashion trends and makeup tips just like you. (Hey, I’m a woman, too!) But I also want some substance.

I want to know what’s going on in our world. I want to broaden my world view. I want to know the good things people are doing to better our community.  I want to talk about real issues and sometimes talk about issues that are really hard to talk about.

And if I had my guess, you do as well.

- Brittany Windle

Follow Britt on Twitter.