Tag Archives: dating

Smorgasbord of Men

December 9, 2014

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I thought dating would be a smorgasbord of scrumptious men after my four year relationship ended. The men started coming out of the woodwork, whether through meeting them through friends, arranged blind dates or the occasional reconnection through Facebook (which I hate).

I was flattered, had the upper-hand, and I was going to enjoy the process. But I was quickly reminded of why dating is not what it is cracked up to be.

The Rebound. Everyone has one. You are completely blind and incompetent to make sane decisions during this time. Friends and family should lock you in a padded room after a bad breakup.

But instead I met him….

I cared nothing about him besides his stunningly beautiful blue eyes and muscular arms. Somehow during the course of our dating, I overlooked the ridiculous stupidity that vomited from his mouth or, rather, texts. He would often text acronyms like “bb” which apparently stands for baby. (Why abbreviate a four letter word?!) And my all time favorite, “SMH,” which means “shake my head.” (You don’t know what this does to an English teacher.) No person over the age of sixteen should talk like that.

He was my trainer at the gym. (Note to self: Never date your trainer.) After his countless requests for me to get breast implants and his week-long gambling trip to Vegas which included a lovely picture with a stripper, I realized we were on different pages.

After all, he is ten years older than I; should he still be partying like it’s 1999? I ended it. And he called me 40 times from 2 different phones trying to win me back.

Four months after, he got hitched… probably in Vegas.

The Elderly. “I can’t believe I never thought of setting you up with him,” my dear friend stated eagerly regarding her single male friend. “He’s a lawyer, running for circuit judge and around forty years old,” she continued. I was willing to give it a go at least once, even though I was not keen on the age factor. We met at her house for dinner with friends. He firmly shook my hand and his blue eyes sparkled under his cute ball cap. The conversation was natural, and he seemed like a true gentlemen.

He asked me to dinner the next day. I obliged. We met at a local Mexican restaurant. Walking toward me was a man who looked much older. With his geriatric shoes, pleated khaki pants, and reading glasses around his neck, I was a bit taken aback. Is this the same man? Instead of the cute ball cap, he sported a comb-over, one of the worst I had ever seen. Ten desperate hairs draped across his bald head. “Maybe others will think he’s my dad,” I thought as I spotted several acquaintances.

The conversation was pleasant yet again. We talked politics, religion, relationships, and none of it uncomfortable. Normally, I am very forgiving with looks as long as the personality chemistry is there. But I could not believe this man was the age my friend told me. He never would reveal it… red flag, perhaps? Needless to say, we never went out again.

I later found out he is at least twenty years older, not thirteen. I see him from time to time at church and have thought about setting him up with my mom.

To Be Continued…

Brittany Windle

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Have You Been Catfished?

October 24, 2014

online-dating-e1405898035178-600x300With new dating apps like Tinder, it is becoming more and more common to meet first online. Whenever I have had conversations about online dating with my guy friends, they confess of a having a fear of being “catfished.”

According to the ever-so reliable source, Urban Dictionary, it states, “A Catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.”

Now, I’m not about to go into detail of how I’ve gotten “catfished.” No offense, but who spends months or years speaking to someone they’ve never seen or at least have sure proof this person exist? And God forbid, plan a life with a stranger. It’s beyond me!

I have a hard enough time getting to know a real guy who is sitting right in front of me, much less some weirdo in another state or better yet, a con-artist in an internet cafe in Africa.

But I’ll be honest. I think I’ve been catfished (just not via Facebook or some other site). I’m pretty sure I’ve been the victim of others creating a false identity. Thank God, I’ve never found out some man I was dating was married with five children.

I often find it extremely difficult to meet men and women alike who are transparent, honest people. Those who know me know that I am very honest and upfront. This is a blessing and a curse. I often ask people sincere questions. Sometimes I get an answer but often times, the answers are vague and elusive like a child inquiring why Zebras have stripes.

False identities can be created in many different ways. I’ve dated guys who claim to be religious because they know my spirituality means a great deal to me. I’ve met people who hide bad habits like smoking or drinking, to later find out it was an issue. I’ve also met others who claim to have the same values as I do in order to get a so called “good girl.” Thankfully, I’m pretty intuitive. But only because I’ve been fooled before.

When it comes to cultivating relationships, honesty is the only way success can be achieved. Sometimes honesty hurts. Sometimes it means an end to a relationship. Sometimes it means taking a risk, and it scaring you senseless.

Thankfully, I still have time and am not remotely worried about meeting my match. I know it will happen. But as I continue with the exhausting dating process, I find myself weary with facades, lack of transparency and the ability in others to be honest.

I see it all the time, especially with men who will not be honest with their feelings or intentions. If you’re a guy reading this, I’m sure you have experienced this with women.

I was thinking today, “Why is it that often times when I ask a straight forward question, I cannot get a straightforward response?” It dawned on me.

If a person cannot be honest with me, then he probably is not being honest with himself.

I wonder how many catfish are swimming around?

Article by Brittany Windle

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Tinder Love

September 19, 2014

1370041886_nutella“Can I lick Nuttela off your body?” a blue bubble appeared. My initial thought: “I don’t even like Nutella.” This is how our love story began…

I’m kidding. But that really did happen upon my first and last trial of Tinder. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Tinder is a dating app. You login through Facebook and view the “available” men or women in your surrounding area. Swipe right if you find that person attractive or interesting. And swipe left if not. “Nope” appears across their face when you swipe left: classy!

Many times a bio is left empty, so it becomes a game of “do I find you attractive or not?” It’s not shallow at all.

So I tried it out, naturally… but not in my own city initially. When I visited a girl friend who lives a few states away, I logged in. I wanted to see what it was about.

Several swipes, a few chats and many clever pick-up lines later, I discovered a few truths about men and Tinder:

- They love to fish and show off their big catch.
- All men skydive or climb big rocks.
- Guys, too, take duck selfies- ya know, not with a duck but the ones with the strange pucker face
- It’s weird when you see a gym selfie
- It’s creepy when you see a guy lying in bed with his kitten
- 99% of them do Crossfit
- There are a lot of lonely military men

I logged in to my city when I arrived back from my trip. After a few swipes of “nope,” seeing a guy I once dated, and seeing a few I know who are married or in relationships, I decided that the app would be deleted immediately. I don’t have time to filter through cheesy pick-up lines or questions alluding to sex in order to discover someone who actually wants to get to know me.

I asked a guy friend of mine if he had ever tried it out. He said that he went on three dates. “One brought a backpack on the date in hopes of staying over at my place.” He told her it wasn’t going to happen.

While he says, he’s met several interesting people and has made new friends, I think I am going to stick to the traditional way of meeting people.

As far as Nutella being licked off my body, maybe he should have suggested a less messier option like whipped cream (kidding, of course).

What do you think about Tinder? Do you think it’s a good way to meet people? Is it just a hook-up app?

Article by Brittany Windle